postscript: February 2011

Sunday, February 27, 2011

absolutely gutted

it's 2am and i'm blogging. and obviously something's keeping me awake. i'm absolutely gutted by the loss. okay putting things into perspective, it's pretty stupid that i'm hung up over a carling cup final loss when i've got a test tmr, of which i have absolutely no mood to study for, no mood to even attend. no way. WE. WERE. JUST. THIS. CLOSE. i don't really want to face the united fans right now. and only a gunner can understand my feelings. to be so close to winning something and then have it snatched from you. no, no quite snatched, but more like to give it away so openly. i don't really know who were the better team tonight, because i didn't watch it and soccernet commentaries only spark my imagination that much. but well, for certain this isn't the team that played against barca and won, for certain this isn't the team thats fought tooth and nail to prove that they're not young raw talent. for certain...i don't even know whats certain anymore!

emotions run deep. i feel hugely disappointed. and yet a part of me kinda guessed that this would happen. never thought it would be an easy win. and i knew that from the moment arsenal was the bookie's choice and everyone said it was a shoo-in. Because we've never performed well that way. we perform better as underdogs.

I'm seriously feeling very gutted now. and thats the only word that keeps popping into my mind. this whole post is going to sound very repetitive cos i'm typing it as i reel from the aftermath and tears drip down my cheeks. I'm giving myself one "pity-party" day. and then i'll move on. move on because the premier league title is within our reach. move on because we're still in the FA cup for now. move on because we've still got a shot at the champions league even though it looks like an insurmountable challenge. as it is, theres no more quad, but i'd take the other three if you'd give them to me.

I don't understand how i can feel so deeply affected. I mean. Think about it, starving children, kidnapped children, abused children, natural disaster victims: the world's full of them! and yet what matters to me most now is that WE. CAME. SO. CLOSE. AND. WE. DIDN'T. WIN. THE. CARLING. CUP.

and i'm gonna need time to get over this.

i really really really don't need to hear the taunts.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

learning to be happy

i think it's a woman's preorgative, once a month to have mood swings. though she does ought to slap a warning label on herself: "ATTENTION: MOOD PRONE TO SWINGS. KEEP OUT" so that if anyone gets into harm's way, well. it's their own fault; they've been duly warned.

And somehow my mood kinda swings rather precariously. Which is scary. Some women are blessed in that they know not the extreme path their moods are taking. unfortunately for me [fortunately for everyone else in my path] I know, and hence I try my best to control the swinging. But that's like playing battleship with your own hormones. which is pretty impossible.

and so i think, once a month, i'm gonna teach myself how to be happy. to remind myself of the little blessings I have around me so that i forget the pain inside of me.

I AM HAPPY BECAUSE...

1. i have a proper chair that doesn't flip up and cause me to fall when i sit down.

It looks something like this, but in red:

it looks like it belongs in a primary school classroom, but who cares. all I know is that I have a chair that is stable for once, and I LIKE IT.

2. I have a purple painted wall in my hall room that makes me smile whenever i see it. cos most of my things are green. and i think green and purple are the most awesome combination. ever.

3. I have a mum who cares enough about me to treat me to a GIGAN-NORMOUS buffet spread and let me eat to my heart's content:D

4. Because most of the best things in life are free and while sisters feel like they cost a lot at them, they are among the best.

5. Because I have friends who care enough to stay up till 12mn, and spring a surprise on me

[sorry, accidentally resized your photos too small and cannot undo!:( still love you guys though)

6. Because I have friends who love me enough and want me to be happy so much , they got me: the happy book. and also because somehow we manage to find the right balance. most of the time.

7. because i'm 20 and young. got a problem with that?

&more than ever, because of you.

HAHA. i bet everybody's gonna ask me about that last line. who knows, maybe i just put it there to test out my theory:D and I'm not going to reveal what my theory is. maybe it's cos theres someone i want to thank that i don't want to name? maybe it's cos the you refers to a million people? maybe i'm referring to GOD? who knows?:D so bottom line is: don't ask. i'm a woman with a pain in the tummy.

i think Grice just turned in his grave. haha.

so, i guess i do have much to be happy about. more than a lot:D

"and the greatest of these, is love"

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

tumblr-ed away

Sometimes I like going through other people's photos [on my sister's tumblr]

and i begin to see where her addiction to tumblr begins.

Every Human is geared to wanting to achieve perfection

some, more so than others.

But there isn't anyone wouldn't admire perfection.

and perfection in spite of imperfection is even more admirable yet.

and those pictures taken, those people

ARE. AWESOMELY. PERFECT.

who knows why. photoshop/lighting/place location venue

countless reasons, but they don't really matter

because what looks good to the eye is what matters when judging a piece of photo

unless, obviously there was a botched photoshop job

but thats not perfection so, that aside...

Somehow seeing perfection makes one strive towards it.

And hence that explains HRH elaine asking me to pose for/take tumblr-like shots

although it was annoying initially

when I went to sneak a peak at her tumblr I was strangely HOOKED.

I didn't think I would be! hahaha

which brings me to my question: HOW ON EARTH DO THEY GET SUCH NICE PHOTOS?!:(

because the ones I take are pretty hopeless:( or maybe it's just me being in it

hahaha. so here were our pitiful attempts at tumblr-like photos.

didn't really get what she was trying to get me to do actually-.- and like an idiot, I smiled for a picture for which my face wasn't even shown.

pleating her hair. though who knows why she was looking down and acting demurely instead of looking at the braid she was pleating. which would have been far more realistic.